Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Attila the Hygienist, Yoda, Breast Cancer and Rats!

Guess where I went today?

Twice a year I go to be tortured my wonderful dentist.
I love, love, love, love, love him. (he gives me as much happy gas as I want! she doesn't let me actually pass out...)
It's her I hate!

Attila the Hygienist.
Who is rough.  Who clicks her teeth.  Who makes me bleed.  Who smears crappy stuff from my mouth onto my glasses when she sprays rinse water and doesn't aim the sucker-up-thingey just right.  Who made me watch ESPN today!

Good news: no cavities!
(cookie for me!...no, no evil side of Dee...remember, the Force with you it is!)
Bad news: Attila still works for my dentist and still gets me every visit.  I've asked to have a different lady gauge, rake, poke, scrape to clean my teeth...but what we have there must be a failure to communicate.
Or listen.
Or care.
They did offer me popcorn when I left.
I declined.
(cookie for me!...no, no......)

Master Yoda decided to not only guard the cookies, but the cookie jar...he is.
So, Yoda...found this little treat and thought it looked like you an awful lot it did!

And...ate it I did!
really, it was a snickerdoodle from Subway...don't tell!

As I was on my way home, an old friend was pulling out of her driveway and I stopped to say "hi".
Schmuck that I am, I haven't called her or talked to her since this fall.
I asked what she was doing home since she teaches school.
She said she didn't feel that great and was on her way to a lunch date with a good friend.
I said "So, you kinda taking a personal sick day?" with a laugh in my voice.

She has breast cancer and needed some down time and time with a friend.
I am such a schmuck.
I told hubby I was a $#!% weasel the other night because of what a bad mommy I know I sometimes am.
and yes, sometimes is a bit of a downplay, just ask them...I've raised them to be honest at least!
Today, I'm an ever bigger $#!% weasel.
Because I didn't call.
I didn't drop by her house.
I didn't send her a Christmas card.
I didn't intuitively know this once "close as a freckle" friend was sick.
Pray for her, please.
Pray for me, please.

I apologize for the schizophrenic post.  In case you haven't caught on, I use humor to help get me through difficult times.
You should have heard me when Mom (love you!) was going through chemo and they told her she couldn't take a bath.  She (and through genetics, I) is a bath person.  She was missing her soak and really wanted to take a bath.
So I gave her permission to take one and asked her "What's it going to do, kill you?"
It's a good thing my mom knows me, loves me (I think) and has the same sense of humor!

Where do rats come in after all this and if you're still reading...bless you!
I've screwed up my inspirational wall hanging...and it's only day two of working on it!

But, I shall persevere...


  1. im not just reading...i am reading this out loud to my husband and falling off my couch i am laughing so hard. the dentist part...too funny. can a dentist offer popcorn directly after a cleaning. that just seems wrong....but what you said to your mother. i am practically crying it was so funny.

  2. I don't feel like a lurker, Dee, I just don't comment every time. Unless that counts as a lurker...anyway, the dentist causes pain as they speak kind words (sometimes) and squeeze your wallet!
    Your prayer for your friend is always helpful. Flowers, or a card, or a handmade gift is a way to say "I care about you." You'll reach out, Dee.

    p.s. I'd eat the Yoda cookie, too.

  3. Dee, I started typing my comment, and it disappeared. I am so relating to your dentist story. I canceled my teeth cleaning appointment that was scheduled for tomorrow. I am such a wienie! I love my dentist who also happens to be my sister in law. However, I would rather go to the gynecologist (did I just admit that?) ten times over than have my teeth cleaned. I love your Yoda tie in. I am a HUGE Star Wars fan.

    I am sorry to hear about your friend. Don't beat yourself up. You saw her today, and now that you know what she is going through, I am sure you will find a way to bring her comfort.

  4. Dee, first of all, you are not a schmuck, not at all. I am sure your friend knows that it is hard to hear something like that, and also knows that it takes a friend to process that kind of information. God will guide you to bring her comfort :) HUGS! and don't be so hard on yourself.

    Also I am soooo relating to your dentist story! I am one who is still paying on my dentist bill because it is so LARGE from letting teeth get bad, there is a difference between you and I, you seem to go more regular than I do. Go have another cookie! :)

  5. Oh my, Dee, your posts are so funny. I can totally relate to your dentist situation. I did in fact fire my hygienist - or I made a request for the other one, which was honoured - and I am much happier. My husband actually falls asleep in the dentist's chair, can you believe it. As for your friend, you are being harder on yourself than she would want you to be. Think about what you can do now that you know, and share your crazy sense of humour with her - love and laughter is the best medicine that a friend can give.

  6. well darn it Dee, I'm a dental hygienist and I know there are some patients that think that about me! at least I try to laugh and have fun though while i torture people!
    And about your friend with cancer, I'm just gonna be blunt here. Get over it! Call her! Tell her you've been a putz and give her some lovin'! She needs it!

  7. You always make me laugh! Have another Yoda cookie:)
    My two best friends in the world live 1400 miles from me and we don't talk often. But, we all know the phone rings both ways and if there is something important going on, there has to be some communication. So, don't be too hard on yourself and you are not a schmuck!

    I hate going to the dentist:(

  8. .anyway, the dentist causes pain as they speak kind words (sometimes) and squeeze your wallet!

    Work from home India


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