Monday, December 28, 2009

...and Monday rolls around.

Looking back, looking forward.
Last night, hubby best friend and I were lying in bed.
He asked me if I had any regrets.
Thankfully, none of them involved him! 

Looking back, some of my regrets have to do with people I've lost touch with, cut ties to or stay distant from (because they're not healthy relationships).

I have a friend who went back to school and is now working full time.  We used to spend every day together in the summer.  Our kids swimming together and the stay at home mommies chatting and keeping an eye on them.  I talk to her maybe once or twice a year now.

Another friend whose son at a much younger age, would hit, kick, push and be very forceful with my boys.  The mom was very much at a loss as what to do with her son. 
I had to sever that friendship for the sake and safety of my kids.

Relationships that are potentially toxic or unhealthy.  Where they want to control your every thought and judge you by their standards instead of letting you be you and enjoying the uniqueness of you.  There is a closeness and friendship that I wish were possible, but allowing myself to become the kind of person I would need to be to have this would shrivel my soul.

Looking forward, that would be my New Year's resolution.  To restore these relationships back to where they were.  But, that's not going to happen.  We're different people now.  I'm a different person now than I was during these times.  I miss my friends and family.  I miss what they could have been, should have been.

But, I'm at a loss.

Looking back, what are some of your regrets?  Looking forward, is it possible to change them or fix them?


  1. Wow, Dee -- that is a tough question. And my mind/heart immediately says, "I don't want to go there." But I think you have the right idea. Before looking forward, we should look back. I'm going to spend some time reflecting on that.

  2. A sobering post, Dee. I think we all have relationships that have been affected by important life decisions that take us in different directions. Like you, I don't know what there is to be done. But it reminds me to focus on the present with regard to friends and family, and not miss the opportunity to tell them how important they are to me.

  3. Regrets? definetly! I could have handled some situations in my life a lot better this year. I am looking at is as learning from those experiences and with lots of prayer I pray that I don't have as many regrets as I grow older. You say everything so very well Dee. HUGS!


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