Friday, August 28, 2009

A Holy Hush

Still.  Small.  Voice.

I've been wrestling all week.  I've been driving all week.  I've been planning all week.  I've been nurturing all week.  I've been here and there...and everywhere.  I've tried to be all things to all people.  Tried to please.  Tried to guide.  Tried to dry tears and mend fences. 

Now, it's Friday.  Close to closing out this week and beginning to think about next.  Sometimes I think time passes way too quickly...and other times, it seems to take forever.
What I wouldn't give for a Groundhog Day.  A day you could begin again over and over until you get it right.  Where you grow...and the opportunities you missed the first time...are offered again, and again, and sometimes again...until you've done what you needed to.  You learned what you were meant to learn.  And the process of community, relationship-gave to all involved.  And took from all.
This weekend.  Who knows what we'll be doing.  I know the morning is full already.  The afternoon is a mystery.  I would love to spend it selfishly.  But that currency isn't cheap.  A chance to gather my thoughts.  Pray for my family and friends.  Listen to the radio. 
Silence.  Something I haven't had for a while.  Yesterday, while puttering around the house, I realized how quiet it was.  And my heart lurched because it felt so wrong.  Two of the boys are back in school and the other one was off reading or doing school work. 
How do we learn to live with the silence?  To clear our minds of the inner and outward clamoring for out thoughts and attention?  Staying focused on the inner Voice that is trying to speak to us?  Breathing deep.  Relaxing.  Opening our heart and mind to the Master.  Surrender.  Connection.  Being in the Presence.  Giving and taking.  Breathing deep.  Peace.  Refreshed.  A little less cluttered and cobwebby up there now.  Heart a little lighter.  Soul grounded and centered again. 
We move on.

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