Thursday, October 29, 2009

400 Word Report Due When?

I love kids!  Really I do.  It's the weird little things in your world they do that drive me batty!  Take the recent Sharpie and vacuum incidents (only two among many, ask my mom or KT).  LOL  Where you just have to swallow whatever was just dying to come out of your mouth from the utter depths of your parenting gland (inherited from your parents and activated when you hear your mother's words come out of your mouth the first time), put your big girl panties on and just deal with whatever's happened or been said by your kids.

So, last night I wore the yellow pair!  LOL  I'm baking brownies, cookies and muffins...making sloppy joe's, nachos, and hot dogs, buying supplies and helping plan concessions for a 4 team basketball tournament S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y morning.  A college child psychology major is coming to our house to use our Middlest as a guinea pig for his classes today, laundry just won't stop no matter how many times I ask it to. 
My to do list is as long's long.

So, soccer dude supreme springs "I think there's a 400 page report due tomorrow.  At least, that's what everybody's telling me.  I didn't know anything about it."

I think somebody's bubblegum stuck to my chin when I went to pick it up off the pavement.
"400 pages?"
(here's where the trick about exaggeration he learned from someone cute, cuddly and the other parent comes in)
"Well, maybe only 400 words."
This is supposed to make it all better?????

The car slams into drive and I take him back to school because he says he has no papers or information on what, where, who, when and why.  I make him go back to his science teacher and ask for this.  Meanwhile, a recovering from a heart attack mom starts to look through his folder and notices material related...then the actual assignment sheet.


He's know about this for a week.  A week people!  So, out comes my mother's voice from my mouth about the usual being a kid gone wrong stuff...laziness, lack of responsibility, know the drill.

Back to the library.
A stack of books later.
No Xbox.
'Til the paper is done.
Yes.  I'm for real.
I'm really not kidding.
No matter how much you've worked on it (ahem....very little).
No.  Not until it's done.

More later because I like to sit in on the child psychology kid's questions for his class...and the answers my children give them.  I really laugh so hard at some of them.  Like "Do you think a free press is good or bad for a dictatorship?"  "Where do you think marbles come from?"  "Is spaghetti a vegetable or fruit? and how do you feel about it not being either one?" me...spaghetti's not a fruit? 

Bean has also has these question and answer sessions because the student needs kids of all ages.
"What does the free market system contribute to an economy?"
Bean "I don't know what that is." (secretly thinking about his Legos)
"Why do melons have different colors?"
Bean "They do?" (secretly thinking about Gameboy games)
"What does this blob of ink look like to you?"
Bean "A dragon eating a teenager who told his mom he had a 400 word report due tomorrow?"

(shaking my head 'cause it only gets better from here, right?)


  1. oh man that cracked me up!!! i can not imagine what having teenagers is going to be like.

  2. HAAA! been there done that! (you are too funny!)

  3. I can SO relate to your story!!!! At least you found out BEFORE the report was due and not AFTER!!! I love your "put on your big girl panties and deal with it comment". My sisters says that all the time. I think I might have to "borrow" that one for myself. (You know this qualifies as a MOMENTS moment, don't you) ;-))

  4. 400 pages?!?! You could call it War and Peace II.

    I loved the daydreaming Lego and Gameboy segment. I remember those days! And I've heard my mother's words coming out of my mouth too many times to count.


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